Here we are again, late at night, and I have no idea what to write about. I feel like I always end up here, and it’s only been a week.
…Really I’m just avoiding the things actually on my mind, but that’s not the point of this blog, so I guess I’ll just have to get over it. The thing is, everything on my mind is a little dark, so you will just have to bear with me.
Today in one of my classes, we had a “check-in”, and all of us were given a chance to just share where we were in our life, what was going on, and how we were feeling. And we were all feeling some stuff. College is not easy on its own, with deadlines and obligations and requirements and expectations, and the rest of life is not going to wait to load more things on. Everyone had a number of things happening, and as nice as it was to get somethings out in the open, it is still hard to hear about the things in life that aren’t going well. I see it on the news everyday- the latest tragedy or catastrophe that just happened, or the one that is right around the bend coming for us all, but you can always turn of the TV and avoid those websites. I can’t ignore the way that the people I know are suffering, and to be confronted with the reality that everyone has struggles to face can bring up a lot of different emotions to the front of the mind.
It can be good to hear some things, things that I relate to and can understand. To hear that you are not the only one with a problem is encouraging, that there is someone else who knows what it is like, who is working through it just like you are. It can also be good to empathize with others, to take a moment to remember that you are not the center of the universe, to connect with the community. There is value in confronting the reality of pain and darkness, and in facing it as a group. After the activity, and we all were aware of everyone’s burdens, we spent some more time just being together in silence and supporting each other. It was nice, and helpful, and good.
It can also be bad to listen to long to the sorrow. If one tends to melancholia and sadness anyway, leaning into the suffering can cause you to lose sight of the things beyond the pain of the moment. There is an overwhelming nature to negativity. If we hadn’t done small activities afterwards, the value of sharing would have been lost as many of us would not have been able to leave the words when and where they were said, and would have continued carting them around. I know I would have, and I kind of am carting them anyway.
So, what do I do now? I have learned over time that some things are better to do at times like this than others. One of the things I tend to do in times like this is listen to music. I prefer music in the mood I am feeling. It helps me express the emotions healthily, understand the universality of such emotions, and give cathartic release. Tonight’s choice was the music of Fall Out Boy. I’ve also learned the place of social media in this, as you should to. I have unfriended/ unfollowed people on Facebook who posted way too much negativity or upsetting things. I also check Instagram a lot. For some that might not work, but I follow very few people I actually know, and I do follow a ton of dogs, and a number of artist. My feed is filled with cute dogs and works of art, which works for me. Figure out what works for you.
Sometimes life just gets heavy. There is a lot of things in this world that are hard, and sad, and wearying. This is reality, and it will never work to run away from it or deny it. Say the things that need to be said, and acknowledge the darkness. Just remember that the darkness is not the be all or end all, and that the sadness and pain is not ultimate. There is good, and there is joy, and there is hope.
… Thanks for sticking through that, lots of love sent out tonight ❤
“For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you “Fear not, I am the one who helps you.” Isaiah 41:13 (ESV)